by A Houseplant

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All instrumentation by Etienne Grenier


released July 17, 2015




73RECORDS Ithaca, New York

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Track Name: Keep Them With Me
"That is why you killed them?"
"Right, not because I was angry with them, not because I hated them, but because I wanted to keep them with me"
-Jeffrey Dahmer
Track Name: Out of Body
“A very dramatic sort of hallucination, which can feel very frightening or uncanny, is seeing ones self. Seeing ones self can occur in various ways. Perhaps the commonest is a so called ‘out of body experience.’
He was hit by a lightening bolt, he was thrown backwards and then he said he seemed to be moving forwards slowly, about seven or eight foot above the ground, and looking down, there he saw his own motionless inanimate body.”
-Oliver Sacks
Track Name: Afraid of the Dark
I’m so afraid of the dark
I’ll huddle around the light
When I saw you in that park
I swore I’d take myself away
(in reference to a dream)
Track Name: And I Thought What For?
You’re not any less
Forget about the rest
I’ll put on my I don’t care hat
Stomped on by a horse
I’m just a rat

Visit my old older brother
He isn’t a brother anymore
I saw her on the counter
On the cover
And I thought “what for?"
Track Name: Home
My home
Is calling me
I’m looking
Through eyes
That can’t see

I hope
That my
Pencil breaks
Before I can
Write this
Track Name: Hot Dog, Burrito, French Fries... French Fries?
“I want hot dog, burrito, French fries”
“French fries?”
Track Name: Deadbeat
I’ve got a feeling in my chest
I’ll write it off
Nothing better at best

Who am I supposed to feel like today?
Nothing better at best
It’s for the worst anyway

Jars and jars of cigarette butts
And chewed off finger nails
Line my windowsills
And I swear to god
I’m not who you think I am
I’m looking away down at my feat
Sitting down in a legless seat

When you saw my face turn toward the train
I cursed myself watched you wave me way in the rain
It feels so sad living this life every day
I sit in this little room and watch my little life drift away

Jars and jars of cigarette butts
And chewed off finger nails
Line my windowsills
And I swear to god
I’m not who I think I am
I’m looking away down at my feat
I am a dead beat
Track Name: It Was Like Air
“At just 12 these two girls nearly took another classmates life. Last may they lured her to a wooded area where police say they stabbed her 19 times.”
“Who stabbed her first?”
“I think um, she stabbed her first, and then I continued, and then, she was like ‘make sure she doesn’t escape’”
“(incomprehensible) in the lung right here, (incomprehensible) in her leg a few times”
“So we told her we were going to get help, but we really weren’t. We were going to run and let her pass away.”
“How’d you get the knife from (incomprehensible)?”
“She sort of just shoved it into my hand and there it was. And I didn’t know what I did it sort of just happened. It didn’t feel like anything, it was like air.”
“Truth be told I wanted to be locked up so I couldn’t hurt her but, that time has past and now I’m in here because we were careless. I knew this would happen, I knew we’d get in trouble.”
-Unknown Interrogation Tapes
Track Name: What You're About To See (Pt. 1)
“The program you are about to see was compiled from the actual therapy tapes of Dr. Ken Mcgid. A clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of severely abused children. Children so traumatized in the first years of life, that they do not bond with other people. They are children who cannot love, or accept love. Children without conscience, who can hurt, or even kill without remorse.”
Track Name: What You're About To See (Pt. 2)
“Are people afraid of you Beth?”
“Who is afraid of you Beth?”
“You’re brother? Why is your brother afraid of you?”
“Because I hurt him so much”

“At night time what do your parents do to your door?”
“Lock it shut”
“Why do they lock it shut?”
“Because they don’t want me to hurt Jon”
“Right, and they’re kind of afraid of you hurting Jon?”
“Okay, are they afraid that you might hurt them?”
“Would you Beth?”
“When would you do it?”
“Night time”
“Okay, why would you do night time?”
“Because I don’t like them seeing me do it”

“And what would you do to them Beth?”
“Stab them”
“Okay, what would you stab them with?”
“A knife”

“And what are you trying to do to your brother?”
“Kill him”
“Why do you want your brother to die?”
“Because I was hurt so bad, and I don’t want to be around people”
-Children Of Rage Therapy Tapes
Track Name: Metalogues
I hope
You don’t deserve
My deranged thoughts

I hope
You don’t ever fall
Because there is no catch

I hope
You aren’t
To my metalogues

I’ll carry you out
Of the fire in my heart

I’ll desecrate my own temple
That’ll make things simple
For the spiritual wrinkles
On my gut
Nihilist rut
Track Name: Muddles And Messes
Daughter: Daddy, why do things get in a muddle?
Father: What do you mean things? Muddle?
D: Well, people spend a lot of time tidying things, but they never seem to spend time muddling them. Things just seem to get in a muddle by themselves. And then people have to tidy them up again.
F: But do your things get in a muddle if you don’t touch them?
D: No- not if nobody touches them. But if you touch them- or if anobody touches them- they get in a muddle and it’s a worse muddle if it isn’t me.
F: Yes- that’s why I try to keep you from touching the things on my desk. Because my things get in a worse muddle if they are touched by somebody who isn’t me.
D: But do people always muddle other people’s things? Why do they, Daddy?
F: Now, wait a minute. It's not so simple. First of all, what do you mean by a muddle?
D: I mean-so I can't find things, and so it looks all muddled up. The way it is when nothing is straight-
F: Well, but are you sure you mean the same thing by muddle that anybody else would mean?
D: But, Daddy, I'm sure I do-because I'm not a very tidy person and if I say things are in a muddle, I'm sure everybody else would agree with me.
F: All right-but do you think you mean the same thing by "tidy" that other people would? If your mummy makes your things tidy, do you know where to find them?
D: Hmm sometimes-because, you see, I know where she puts-things when she tidies up-
F: Yes, I try to keep her away from tidying my desk, too. I'm sure that she and I don't mean the same thing by "tidy."
D: Daddy, do you and I mean the same thing by "tidy?"
F: I doubt it, my dear
-Gregory Bateson (Steps To An Ecology Of Mind: Metalogues)